Dear Carolyn: Our 24-year-old daughter, “Kate,” moved back in with us. She and I get along well, but she and her mom butt heads. My wife is disappointed Kate did not go straight to graduate school after college and doesn’t seem to have a plan. I trust that Kate will get it together. I did odd jobs for at least five years out of college before heading to business school, and that seems even more normal these days than it did then.
I am not sure how to broker peace between these two. When I tell either of them to let things go, they suggest I am being sexist. It has reached the point where I really only enjoy their company separately, which is too bad because it’s not a very large house. — Keeping the Peace
Keeping the Peace: Your wife is entitled to all her feelings, but she’s not entitled to dump her judgments and unmet expectations on a fellow adult. Not even one who’s back home. It’s boundary time.