Friend is taking out her pain on others

"The only way to make it better is to give her leeway in terms of showing compassion, feeling sympathy and maintaining your end of the friendship — but also giving her zero leeway on the jackholery."



June 2, 2020 - 10:33 AM

Dear Carolyn: I have a close friend, “Rose.” Rose has done three failed IVF attempts and is gearing up for her fourth one (when it’s available). While the failures have of course been very painful, she didn’t start trying until after 40, so they are also not a surprise to her or anyone else.

Carolyn HaxCourtesy photo

Meanwhile, she seems to have claimed for herself a license to be completely nasty to everyone around her and to treat us all as punching bags while she goes through this tough time. This includes her husband — they are actually on the brink of divorce, I think — her family and me, her best friend of 20 years.

She solicits my opinion on various things just to tell me how naive and misguided it is. She attacks my parenting and implies that if she had a kid, it would be in all ways superior to mine. She has become an extremely unpleasant person to interact with in even a small way, like texting, and I barely recognize her.

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