Moving in together gets girlfriend in a lather

Combining different cultures, experiences will require compromise. You don't have to share everything, but maybe let him use your shampoo sometimes.



February 17, 2020 - 9:39 AM

Carolyn Hax

Dear Carolyn: My boyfriend and I have been together for three years and moved in together a year ago. I really do love him, but living with him has been driving me crazy and I don’t know if I’m reasonable or being a jerk.

I grew up in a family where everyone had their own things. My sister and I shared a bathroom, but I had a different shampoo and she would never use mine and I would never use hers. There were always snacks in the cupboard that were specifically for kids’ lunches — my parents would never eat them — and I would never eat anything I knew my parents had bought specifically for themselves. We only ever shared personal items with permission: You would always ask first.

My boyfriend is an only child and everything they had was shared. He and his parents used the same shampoo, soap, toothpaste. If he needed to borrow a shirt, he could just grab one from his dad’s closet.

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