Mending fences with estranged grandchild

A reader tries to find ways to establish connection with a granddaughter following a lifetime of being kept apart because of lies.
Published: September 15, 2026
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A reader tries to find ways to establish connection with a granddaughter following a lifetime of being kept apart because of lies.

Dear Carolyn: My eldest granddaughter is 27. I do not know her. When she was small, my son (my only child) and daughter-in-law had a laundry list of restrictions and rules in order to see their daughter. I complied as best I could but drew the line when they said that I could never let her meet or know about my twin sister because she is a lesbian.

My sister and I lived together at the time, though she has since died.

My granddaughter reached out on my birthday to ask if we could get to know each other. We met and she told me fantastically untrue and wild things her parents had said about me. I told her my version of the story and refuted the lies with facts. I asked if we could just move forward from now and see how we do? She insists we clear the air with her parents and all meet.

Carolyn Hax-Washington Post

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